The beach near where i live has played a vital role most of the times in changing my moods and cheering me up. I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles,whenever the world begins to close in on me.Whatever emotions i have in mind..be it Delightfulness or Disappointment,Friendship get togethers or Soothing Loneliness,I have shared all that with this scenic shore which seems endless at times.My happiness doubles and my sadness halves when i come and sit in this coziest soil of seashore.
She was eight years old when I first met her on this Beach.I had never seen her before here.But there was some kind of Gravity,may be in her cuteness or in her charm that pulled me across, in just my first sight of hers.So i walked up to her.She was building a sandcastle or something and looked up.I realized that Gravity in her Eyes,as blue as the sea.
'Hello,' she said.
I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child,even though deep down inside i was interested to know her more.
'I am building,' she said.
'I see that. What is it?' I asked,pretending as if i am not really caring. 'Oh, I don't
know, I just like the feel of sand.' That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes.
A sandpiper glided by.
'That's a joy,' she said.
'It's a what?',I asked.
"It's a joy. My mommy says sandpipers come to bring us joy and happiness.'
The bird went gliding down the beach. Good-bye joy, I muttered tomyself and I turned to walk on. I was depressed. My life seemed completely out of balance.I had all kinds of trouble all these years which i had fought by myself and come out of it somehow,but to my notice,it was all done for the next one on my way.
Now i was starting to loose my mind on everything and that's why i am here to see the beautiful sunset in this eve wondering if its the sun setting on my Life.But realizing that tomorrow there will be a new rising again.But my heart refuse to think positively.I don't know why,may be it has had enough of whatever i have faced,fought and crawled through in recent times.But again trying to cheer myself up i deliberately turned my attention to that beautiful sight of mine.
'What's your name?' She wouldn't give up.
'Shravan,' I answered. 'I'm Shravan RamKumar .'
'Mine's Shruthi... I'm eight.'
'Hi,Shruthi.' She giggled.She was full of questions once i gave her the time.'How come u have 3 names but i have only 1.This isn't fair'.I chuckled realizing that she was just a kid and said,'RamKumar is my Father's name and so is my last name'.You're funny,' she said.
In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on. Her musical giggle followed me.
'Come again, Mr. SRK,' she called. 'We'll have another happy day.'I gave a skeptical look wondering how quickly did she make a short form out of my name.I felt this girl is not only sweet and cute but smart and sharp too.
After a few days of hectic work on my project, PTA meetings, and an ailing mother;The sun was shining one morning as I picked myself up from the bed and got ready for another day hoping it to be better than the previous one. I need a sandpiper, I said to myself, gathering up my coat.
The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me that evening. The breeze was chilly but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed.There she was in her aura.
'Hello, Mr. SRK,' she said. 'Do you want to play?'
'What did you have in mind?' I asked, pretending to have a twinge of annoyance.
'I don't know, you say.'
'How about Sudoku?' I asked sarcastically. The tinkling laughter burst forth again.
'I don't know what that is.'Her cute frankness influenced me.
'Then let's just walk.'I replied.
Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face. 'Where do you live?' I asked.
'Over there.' She pointed towards a row of summer cottages. Strange, I thought, in winter.
'Where do you go to school?'
'I don't go to school. Mommy says we're on vacation.'
She chattered the little girl talk as we strolled up the beach,but my mind was on other things.I couldn't resist myself from worrying on my matters.
When I left for home, Shruthi said it had been a happy day.
Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed.
Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic and distrust. I was in no mood to even greet Shruthi. I know i did enjoy her company,something inside made me feel nostalgic whenever i was with her.But the frustrated mind of mine turning ever so pessimistic recently,refused that joy and made me behave so ridiculously weird.I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt like demanding she keep her child at home.
'Look, if you don't mind,' I said crossly when Shruthi caught up with me, 'I'd rather be alone today.' She seemed unusually pale and out of breath. 'Why?' she asked.
I turned to her and shouted, 'Because my mother died!' and thought, My God, why was I saying this to a little child?
'Oh,' she said quietly, 'then this is a bad day.'
'Yes,'.I said,'and yesterday and the day before and..... - oh, go away!'
'Did it hurt?' she inquired.
'Did what hurt?' I was exasperated with her and with myself.
"When she died?' she asked.
'Of course it hurt!' I snapped, misunderstanding, wrapped up in myself. I pushed off.
A month or so after that,i was coming back to normal,slowly but surely having solved some of the matters which bothered me for sometime now.I wanted to visit the beach but this time not to cheer me up but to make my self feel good seeing that beautiful girl and not pretending anything.I just wanted to enjoy and Have a Happy Day as she used to greet me.So I went to the beach, she wasn't there.
Feeling guilty, ashamed and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up to the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door. A drawn looking young woman with honey-coloured hair opened the door.
'Hello,'I said, 'I'm Shravan RamKumar. I missed your little girl today and wondered where she was.'
'Oh yes, Mr. Shravan, please come in. Shruthi spoke of you so much. I'm afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance, please accept my apologies.'
'Not at all - she's a delightful child.' I said, suddenly realizing that I meant what I had just said.
'Shruthi died last week, Mr. Shravan. She had leukemia. Maybe she didn't tell you.'
Struck dumb, I groped for a chair.I skipped a Heartbeat. I had to catch my breath.
'She loved this beach so much and so when she asked to come, we couldn't say no.She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called as Happy Days. But the last few weeks, she declined rapidly...' Her voice faltered'.
'We slowly started realizing the truth that her days were numbered.But She left something for you ... if only I can find it. Could you wait a moment while I look?'
I nodded so helplessly, my mind racing for something to say to this lovely young lady. She handed me a smeared envelope with 'To Mr. SRK' printed in bold childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues - a yellow beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird.
Underneath was carefully printed: A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY AND HAPPINESS.
Tears welled up in my eyes and a heart that had almost forgotten to love,opened wide.I felt as if i was Lost within myself and realized that this girl,who was no one to me, was my Sandpiper for all these days who came just to give me joy but i refused to take it for some weird reason.
I took Shruthi's mother in my arms. 'I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,' I muttered over and over, and we wept together. The precious little picture is framed now and hangs in my Bed Room. Eight words - one for each year of her life - that speak to me of peace and harmony, courage and happiness, joy and understanding love.
A gift from a child who came like an Angel to my Life, with sea blue eyes and hair the colour of sand -who taught me the Gift of Love.
-Dilse...
Munna Srk
